I cry for my mom pretty often.
Most of you know she passed last year, and yet sometimes I see her so clearly and almost forget she is gone. The times I find I cry the most are when I’m already vulnerable (i.e. when I’m upset with my husband or just annoyed and wanting to vent) and when I rock my baby to sleep.
The other night as I held my almost two year old and swayed from side to side, I broke down.
I remember seeing my mom cry for her mom in snippets throughout my childhood and I never knew what to do or say. I was only 2 when my grandma passed so it happened a lot at first and then every few years I’d find her crying over a box of memories she had found.
I wish that Leopold got to know her in life rather than just photos and stories.
I looked down into his crib at the blanket I made for him when he was 4 months old and realized that was the last “project” of mine she ever beamed with pride over. She was sick when I finished it but still coherent enough to get excited and tell me how wonderful I had done.
I love being a mom but I feel like motherhood would be so much sweeter if I had my mom by my side.💔
The tattoo on my wrist says “I love you, Mom” I had the artist copy it off a note she had put in my lunch in elementary school. On the other side of my wrist is a heart, in the very same spot that my mom had a heart shaped birth mark. I’ll love you forever, mama 💗 .